Why did he cheat on me?

“Why did he cheat on me?”

These were the last words Kumud managed to speak, with tears pouring off her eyes and blood from her veins, before the nurses disappeared behind the closed doors frantically pushing her stretcher. I stood there numb in disbelief at what had taken place.

At five feet five inches, with a slender figure, she had always been an attractive girl by Indian standards. Silken hair and black eyes, with an attitude to boast of, she could be any man’s desired partner. I remember Kumud as a cheerful, easy going and fun loving girl, who has always been in love with life and ‘him’. As someone who will never think before giving herself completely to the one she loves.

For seven years she loved him. And only him. Revered him more than any idol she ever worshipped. Though in immense pain, Kumud never hurt him. To me she has invariably been the perfect real life depiction of the romantic, pretty and devoted partner we see only in movies. I have often teased her for being so out of the world and dreamy. And always wondered whether she really exists or is a flimsy silhouette that treads on earth.

For Kumud everything has to be perfect; but then nothing ever has been. Neither her marriage, that had become most essential the moment that godforsaken vermilion was smeared on her forehead by a hand that perhaps least respected its sanctity.

Kumud tried to hold onto him with every possible emotion; love, lust, anger, helplessness, blind devotion, even losing her self-respect and pride at times. But never with hate. How she tried unendingly to please him and his relations; how little they loved and accepted her. I became a mute spectator to her melting into a nonexistent entity and trying desperately to recast herself to the woman he wanted her to be.

But she failed. Nothing she ever did make him love her. I knew Kumud had lost the man who had passionately wooed her, pampered and loved her once. His eyes had spoken love. All envied her and she was in bliss. Ignorance, if I may say.

Why did she never read the signs? How could Kumud be so blind to all that was going on? Truth couldn’t have been more naked. Yes, my friend, my dear friend, chose to shroud herself from it all. Every effort of mine to halt her degeneration was defeated. I could do nothing for her.

My god knows how hard I tried to save her this day. I had said all I felt to her. I explained everything I had begun to sense. Then I had got angry at her insistence on believing not in me but that infidel. I slapped her. Finally, I broke down. I pleaded with her. My adamant and ever loving friend took me in a tight embrace. She forced me to have faith in her trust on him. I succumbed to her arguments.

When it dawned on her, she crumbled like burnt paper. That is exactly what he had treated her as – mere paper. How ruthlessly he had torn her to bits. Kumud’s pain at his heartless betrayal was excruciating. We tried in vain to bandage her bruised heart. We stood by her, but none of us were capable of gauging the depth of her sorrow. I have been praying regularly for her since then. I know she may never be able to love again. But I want her to live a fulfilling life.

An effort to this end had taken me to a publishing house today with a file containing Kumud’s best written words. The response had been enthusiastic. The Director asked me to convey that he wants to meet her the following week. With a smile on my lips and bouncing steps, I had entered my flat this evening. And darted to her room.

Oh! I see the doctor coming out from that room where she was taken to some hours back. I should put aside my diary for a while.

I wipe away my tears and making a deliberate effort to be the headstrong girl I am, face the surgeon. He says something to me. I do not know what. I don’t seem to be with him.

When I open my eyes, I find myself lying on a hospital bed. There is no one around me. I only see a faint image. Like a silhouette passing by. As if in a dream waving to me and going back to where it had always belonged. I know this is the last time I see her.