Deepika’s ‘My’ Choice?

Well, what was she even thinking when she agreed to be a part of this video? That she would gather a whole new bunch of admirers? Or, that she would have a larger fan-base for her films? No, maybe she was thinking that all of a sudden she would be transformed into the voice of women oppression and liberation all at once; that she would share some handsome space with feminists across the globe and win international accolades. Yes, what was she even thinking?

Deepika Padukone is the last celebrity who should have been a part of the video ‘My Choice’. In fact, what idea does Vogue, a brand catering to the elite, have about women’s issues. And Homi Adjania, can you please stick to making top-selling masala-films please?

I truly fail to understand why women’s issues have not even been touched upon in the video. Why no one talks about grave social issues like rape, dowry, acid-attack, molestation, female foeticide, education, and so on. Brought up in a privileged family, what does Miss Padukone know about the traumas that women much less privileged and fortunate than her face each day of their lives. They have no proper meals, no rags to cover themselves, and no alleys outside or inside the house to hide themselves when predators come in search, and she talks about her right to go ‘naked’. Such irony! In a country where the body of a woman is at stake and at peril, how frivolous it is to gloat about the soul. Where women have to prove their virginity before being deflowered by a ‘husband’ they hardly even know; where they are mere objects of lust; and where they are considered whores if they have more than one lover in a lifetime; it is unbelievable the way Deepika pronounces her right to have sex.

Wow, so it is done. And I have been able to mirror the thoughts of those who are so forcefully and ruthlessly tearing apart a video that talks about ‘My Choice’.

Firstly, it is my choice to like, hate, detest, or adore the video. I don’t need people preaching me what to do. Millions of girls out there, maybe young and urban, but nonetheless millions, chose to support the video and were forced to hide in their closets when women started attacking women’s choices, yet again. When the older, ‘knowledgeable’, and righteous women took to social media to destroy the liberty of a select few who wanted to make a point.

Secondly, women’s issues are not only about rapes and murders and lesser privileged women. It is also about what urban, independent, and privileged women see as issues. Why do we fail to understand a simple point that needs and desires are different for different sets of people? While some may seek education as their right, others may choose sex. It is what one doesn’t have that one vies for.

The contention is that even educated and privileged women cannot speak their minds. This does show the deplorable society that we live in. I understand the right to be safe and treated equal, but doesn’t the freedom to express supersede these needs? Why does a woman like Deepika fail to garner the respect and admiration of a society when she talks about mental health or her choices? Why does she need to be battered and bruised and victim of some grave mishap to be able to voice herself? I heard someone comparing her with Saina Nehwal. Isn’t that extremely naïve of us? Deepika is not trying to win admirers here or the world over. In the video, she is just another woman, like many of us are (though my dear feminists would chop off their heads rather than agree) and she is merely speaking her mind and what she believes in, though it may have been scripted.

More so, the video has nothing to do with men. Why are the men feeling offended then? And their caretakers (read the women who are staying up nights finding ways to defend men and demean the women featuring in and supporting the video), do they even realise how their callous and nonsensical lashes are bruising the morale of women? I repeat the video is not about men; it is about women. We expect to free ourselves from patriarchal dominance, have an equal society, and give women all the powers and rights that have been denied to them. And here we have our dear friends dragging us by our hair to the same place where we began; the same place where our lives revolved around men. Can we not, for once, distance ourselves from men and think only about ourselves.

We are not talking about what men should do if women have the right to choose their sexual partners. We are not talking about what men should do when women stay out late or dress the way they want. When Deepika says that she is not a man’s privilege, it doesn’t mean at all that a man would be her privilege. When she says that she can choose her partner, it doesn’t mean a man cannot.

In fact, what are we trying to stuff into closets here? Men and women do cheat, and it happens pretty often. I personally know a dozen men who are married and have love (or lust) in their hearts for other women. Please note that a practice prevails which is known as ‘wife-swapping’. And when a bunch of women start talking about their sexual preferences and rights, it leads to women chastising them even more than the men.

Then, men unzipping themselves, isn’t it a very common sight in India? I laugh at the people who see problem because Deepika merely unhooks her bra in the video. And, if that doesn’t suffice, why did my dear friends not take to the streets crying foul when Akshay Kumar made his dear wife unbutton him at a fashion event? Why didn’t they say then what if a man does the same to a woman as they now are saying?

 Vogue is a fashion magazine and does best what it is meant to do. Women are getting more trendy and fashionable. The feminists among us think it is to attract men. Yes, that is true. That is basic theory of the animal kingdom; to attract. Are we trying to suppress our natural instincts here? We may be liberated and empowered and all of that. But, I am stupefied when women totally sidestep the laws of nature, of which attracting the opposite sex is one such rule. If women are spending more on themselves to look and feel better, are the men not doing the same today? Did we hear or see our fathers and grandfathers going for facials, manicures, and full body waxing? And it is so common today. So, my question is, are these women unaware of the laws of nature that I just spoke about or about what the men next to them are doing to attract women? No, I’m not looking for an answer here.

It is sad that when we should be supporting the cause of women and coveting an equal society where everyone has the right to choose, we are here defending men’s point of view. We have films where the camera is a male, hoardings on the roads meant only for men, clothes and perfumes to suit men’s liking, and ceremonies arranged for men. It is, therefore, apparent I believe that a video will be looked at from a male point of view.

Well, the fact is that the video ‘My Choice’ is the point of view of a group of people who got together to share something they (strongly) feel for. They do not reflect your sensibilities or ideals. They do not support your campaigns. They do not need your approval to talk about issues they face. So, stop encroaching upon their liberty to express. You can and please fight your own wars. That would perhaps do us more good than humiliating and demeaning somebody else’s struggle. A video changes nothing. It is a message; a message we should all grasp and move on to better our circumstances and situations. Instead, we have dissected it so brutally that it has lost any purpose that it may have even had.

Till we are a better and empathising lot, long live patriarchy! Vande Mataram.